On Materialism and Consumerism....

In the spirit of Black Friday, I felt the need to impose a thought on materialism and consumerism. The common theme about Black Friday is that we spend an entire day before being thankful for everything we have, but a few hours after the feast is over, we begin trampling each other to buy more and more things we don't need, just because they are inexpensive. Which makes me wonder, why are we so obsessed with materialism and consumerism?

Don't get me wrong, I am a girl. Therefore, whenever I go to the mall, my debit card commits suicide as I spend my life savings. Why do we all love to shop? We all realize we don't need half the stuff that we buy. We know we don't need to spend the money, especially in the current difficult economic state. So what do we get out of shopping?

I've come to realize that shopping and buying new things, in a way, allows you to become a new you. Every store you enter allows you a different taste of something you could be. Go in one store, you can be a skater punk. The next, a hipster. The last, a prep. Your options are endless, and chances are you'll go in each store and come out with something from each store. With these endless options, who you are is endless.

And so with these options, we continue to shop to continue to change every part of who we are. Our appearance is as versatile as the world we live in, and we adapt in our outward appearance to fit in to our ever changing world. But if we always change how we appear, what about the inside? Is that as ever changing?

I'd like to think our inside is stable. At our core, we know who we are. We know the qualities that define us and our strengths and weaknesses, and our outward appearance is a manifestation of the things we do or do not want people to know, but mostly the things we do not want people to know. But we keep all this hidden, as our true identity is our greatest secret is held dear to our hearts and only expelled to those we trust the most, in hope they do not turn against us.

Remember, who you are is beautiful, no matter what. No amount of things you purchase will change who you are. You are beautiful because you are you and you are unique in every way. Your story and your identity are meant to be shared to change someone's life. Let your light shine.

On family....

John Mayer once said, "I believe that my life's gonna see the love I give returned to me."

As I am home for break, I have tons of time to see people I am close with. One of the first places I went was back to my school to see the production of the Crucible. I picked up my friends and we went and I tried to keep a low profile. Funny joke...I got mauled like a baby tiger. Today, I went to school to see teachers and friends....and I got mauled again....

As much as I tried to keep a low profile, I really expected that my arrival would be a non event. I see my arrival as a non event, so why would anyone else see it differently? Don't read this wrong, I'm really not full of myself. But being home and being surrounded by so many people makes me feel so loved and so happy. Whether I am here or far away, I have a huge support system behind me of amazing people who love me unconditionally.

As much as I love Iowa City, in my heart of hearts I did miss home. After an interesting transitional period to college, I have never been more thankful for a group of friends who love and support me indefinitely. I can never express how grateful I am to my friends and family who care about me so much. I will never understand what I ever did to deserve their amazing love and support, but I am thankful for them everyday.

At the end of the day, I am going to my dream school, I am studying what I love, I have a roof over my head, I have food, I have a family who loves me, and I have the best group of friends who are there for me no matter what. I am amazed at my blessings, and I am so grateful. What more could a girl ask for?

On Life Decisions and Singularity....

Today, I met with my academic advisor and another professor to discuss plans for my next three years in school and for graduate school. As I had these discussions, I was able to answer life altering questions with answers that appear to be permanent, and they are what I want with complete certainty. It makes me wonder...

How do I know what I want in life? As they asked questions about things I wanted and how I intended to achieve them, I had no doubt in my answers. I will graduate with my undergraduate in three years with three degrees and honors. I will then move immediately to graduate school. I had no doubt in my mind that taking these risks and making these decisions are exactly what I want in life. I've taken all the right steps there. Within my first semester at school, I have glowing references, and I have dipped my feet into everything I need to to build my resume.

While I am thrilled that I am not stressing about making decisions, I question if I am complacent. Don't get me wrong, none of my goals by any means are a way of me settling. I am ambitious and my goals are incredibly high. However, am I losing something by already knowing what I want, and being settled?

As the conversation developed, all I had left was one decision to make. Do I go to graduate school for gothic architecture, or modern/contemporary art? Gothic architecture is fascinating to me in its developments and grandiosity, but I hate that it is already done and settled. Everything is already known and understood about it. Modern and contemporary art are beautiful to me in that everything is in progress and undecided and still has questions that I can answer. I am basically deciding between stability or adventure.

Then I realized, the decision of stability or adventure is basically my life at this point. By going through my undergraduate quickly and going straight to grad school, there is little stability in that I will be younger than everyone else. I am also studying art history, which is possibly the biggest gamble I could have. Everything I'm doing in life is an adventure. I'm studying art history with little stability, I am constantly making new friends and evolving socially, I'm dating (which is the weirdest thing...ever...), I'm learning things that I never thought I would, and everything is all new.

I'm learning that adventure is stable idea. By committing your life to an adventure, you are committing yourself to the stable idea that nothing is consistent. You are committing to the constant change that life brings. As contradictory as it all sounds, it really quite makes sense.

As for me? I'm happy being stable and committed to adventure...

The Persistence of Memory

Whenever I think about the persistence of memory, I think about the art work of Salvador Dali. Mainly, his work with the melted clock hanging over the tree. In this work, time is morphed into a state of nothingness based on the lack of a clock. This clock is placed over a tree showing the connection of time with nature.

Nature is something that is always shown as being ever changing. I think memory is this same thing. As I prepare to go home for Thanksgiving break, I can not help but consider how my memories are ever changing. I am making plans to see friends when I go home, and it is amazes me how different my plans are to go home, and how much I will miss Iowa City while I am home.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but for arguments of this blog I will leave them out of the equation. I have made some of my best friends at home and I am thrilled to see them all. We are spread out across the country, separated by miles and time zones. I have my best friends, and I never doubt their importance in my life. I contemplate how these groups of friends have changed though.

I'm not friends with the same people I was even two years ago. With that being said, I'm not tied down to home anymore for reasons of friends and relationships. As a whole, I am not tied down anywhere. In a stage of life where I have to make decisions that are permanent, I am free as a bird to anyone and anything.

With these freedom, my memories are not persistent. My memories are as beautiful and ever changing as the people in my life. My memories are free to be created and to change with the seasons. As I float around like a leaf blowing in the fall breeze, I allow my memory to blow with me, knowing that the appropriate memories are being planted as seeds that will grow into seeds when time is appropriate.

Off to float...

Sometimes, I feel like Carrie Bradshaw....

Tonight, my roommate called me and asked me to go to dinner with her in the dining hall. On my way there, I ran into a rather attractive fellow. I was feeling pretty confident, having recently returned to wearing my skinny jeans, and I was already wearing my riding boots which are AWESOME. This fellow then proceeded to start a conversation and blatantly hit on me. To me, this is already awkward, considering I have no game, no ability to flirt, and no idea how to date. This fellow then ate dinner with my roommate and I (after my roommate encouraging me to invite him). About half way through dinner, he began to talk about some girl he's interested in (who isn't me, despite him hitting on me), and it got me thinking....

Being a single woman makes me feel like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. No, not by the negative connotations of Carrie's actions. By this, I mean, are there any AVAILABLE men that aren't disgusting and weird? Don't get me wrong, I'm newly single and I am presently enjoying the experience of meeting people and having fun. However, the majority of the men I have met recently leave me hopeless for the human race. They also disprove any theories of evolution.

I'm at a period in life where it has been the decided upon plan that I go to school so I can get a job, and in the process I find someone and I get married. These men that I have met recently range from, you're a creep, to zero personality, to I think you're gay. So, how does an average single woman find a guy that isn't a total weirdo? I mean, maybe after a few more bizarre run ins on my way to the cafeteria I'll strike gold.....or....have another brilliant blog post.

Anyways, shout out to the creep I ate dinner with who is very clearly interested in someone else but felt the bizarre need to hit on me with his unappealing monotone personality and bizarre interest in starting girl fights. You suck.

Next?

Allow me to Introduce Myself...

My name is Rachel. I'm a college kid studying art history and studio arts. With that being said, that sets the tone for everything I write. I try to see the art in life. Everything I do oozes the art kid within me. I analyze everything and look for the beauty and the philosophical content. I have many thoughts, and some of them may be entirely worthless, but some of them I tend to think have value and could help. What better way is there to spew my thoughts into the endless sea of interwebs? All I can hope is my thoughts will float into the sea, and my creativity will serve some purpose somewhere....