On Mirrors.

Today, I was reading about conceptual art and minimalism. Hang tight, I promise this isn't all about art. As I read about the artist's intentions and the socio-political context of the time (1960's/1970's), I was struck by how the artists tried to deal with the chaos. Each artist had a different idea, be it making references to classicism or resorting to new ideas that tried to find simplicity within the chaos. One composition struck me particularly.

The artist was trying to enclose the viewer. When you are surrounded by this, you are surrounded by mirrors. There is no way to look down at the floor or to avoid the gaze of the mirrors. Everything you do in the room reflects and deflects until you are forced to look at yourself. No sidestepping or avoidance, just you confronting yourself.

On one note, there's the art side of me that realizes why people don't like modern art because it forces you to confront yourself. That honest conversation with yourself is terrifying.

On another note, something about this composition has still grabbed me. How often do we honestly stop and look at ourselves in the mirror and have an honest conversation with each other? How often do we honestly confront ourselves? Sometimes, we have friends in life that confront us and ask us the hard questions. However, we can still avoid them in a dialect.

This mirror represents so much more than a controversial world of modern art. It represents how we avoid ourselves and the difficult of our lives. If you took ten minutes to sit down and confront yourself in this composition, what would you find? What would you find within your brutal honesty? Could you look at yourself and be happy? Can you look at yourself and say you're proud of yourself and your accomplishments?

I, like most people, would be terrified of this conversation and what would come of it. Yet there's a part of me that craves that kind of honestly. It makes me question what I would find if I confronted myself in that way. I could ask myself a million questions, but would I ever find the answers? How would I confront the claustrophobia I would be forced into?

I don't know that I have the answer to this. I don't know that there is an answer. I just think it's important we all confront ourselves honestly. That we all stare ourselves in the mirror and acknowledge what we see back. The mirror is not something we should hide from. Rather the window into the world of the questions we've always been looking for.

Change.

Lately, I've been considering a lot about how people change. It's a fascinating concept, really. We spend all of our science classes discussing theories of evolution and how we physically change. Therefore, the focus is always on how people change in appearance as the be all end all. But what about how people change emotionally?

Typically, people don't like to show their emotions. It's a sign of weakness on the days when things aren't okay. It's a point of vulnerability when those around you know your emotions. It could easily be used against you. Obviously emotion implies a very temporary state, therefore a change in emotions will happen. Different things in life happen, so you will obviously feel different things at different times.

I think what is more important, is not how many emotions you have as the events of your life progress, but rather the existence and singularity of emotions and what you do with them. It's an abstract idea, I realize, but hear me out. When we were kids, we were all encouraged to feel something over every event. We were wide open and curious, not yet jaded by the events of life. But as time goes on, we slowly lose the ability to develop emotions because of how we have become jaded. If we can develop emotions, they're restricted to the simple things, like happiness or anger, whatever is easiest to stay numb.

On top of the development, or lack thereof, of emotions, comes what you do with them. Do you use them to let people in and be open? Or do you use it to push people away and hide how you feel? It's a scary concept deciding what to do with something so powerful, yet intangible. It's fascinating to me how much more powerful it is the emotions you show or hide rather than the emotions you have. In other words, it's more important whether or not you show it or not.

It's an incredibly abstract concept. I don't claim to know the answer, nor do I claim that I'm perfect in arranging and displaying my emotions. It's hard to say what you feel and show it, but there's something about being vulnerable that is freeing. There's no more hiding or second guessing, but rather what is exists out in the open. I would never claim to say that this is easy - rather it's quite intimidating and difficult to trust yourself to take such a large step. But ultimately, the prize you get from honesty and emotions is worth it the risks and fear.

Freedom.

Just a blip on the radar.....

So, for those of you who check my blog (which according to blogger, is a lot of you), I kinda fell off the face of the earth for a bit. No worries, I didn't break any bones or anything (surprisingly). I just took some time away to think, and I had some interesting epiphanies.

I find that when things go wrong, we never want to ask for help and admit defeat. We hide ourselves away in denial. We hope that things will change without ever asking for help. It's an interesting theory, to hide away the pain and the things that go wrong in your life. As hard as it is, I think that we are intrinsically programmed to be relational. Whether things are good or bad, we desire to be with other people and share our lives with them.

Sometimes just spending time with a person, regardless of what happens, can fix it all. It's the idea that you aren't alone. For all the times you think you are alone and things are wrong, there is a group of people there waiting to help you get through whatever it may be. There are times when there is no way to deny that the world may seem dark and distraught.

It's one thing to recognize the world is dark and distraught, but another to get through it. When you find the strength to push through the difficulty is when the true change happens. The events may still be poor and not in your favor, but you have to realize how much better things will get.

Let's be honest. Life sucks. You fail a class. You get dumped. Your best friend gets cancer. Your health falls apart. Your family falls apart. The list is endless of the things that can go wrong, and amidst that list, any possibility of anything that could go right seems bleak and menial. There's a reason we all have to go through the worst possible thing. We learn from it, and we become stronger.

When life gets ya down, have a burrito and take a nap, and wake up to realize it's gonna be okay. If you can pick your head up and walk through, you will see a better day. Let hope inspire you to move through difficulty. Let your inhibitions fall away to do the courageous things that help you through difficulty.

"Life is beautiful, but it's complicated. We don't need to understand there are miracles."