First, like any other person, I mention this to all of my friends. And their responses are usually one in the same - it's not that hard so just go out and find someone. I laugh a little bit every time I hear this, because it implies that it is super easy to find someone, so just go do it. The reality is, no matter how many friends or connections you have, it's difficult to find the right person. You can find someone immediately if you find the wrong person and if it's about being with anyone, and not the special someone.
Second, I survey my options, and this is where it gets fun. Digression, please read this in the same manner as I'm writing it, as a girl who has guy friends, but is always the bro, and never the girlfriend, but would like to meet someone special. Anyways, sure, every now and then I get hit on. But I get stuck on the approach that men take. I find that men don't hit on women by saying, you're smart or funny or kind or caring or generous or lovable. It's always, you're attractive/sexy, etc., immediately followed by sexual implications that deny anything could ever happen after friends with benefits.
Keep in mind, I write this in a bizarre place. I've had my fair share of relationships. But at this point in my life, I'm the bro. I'm the girl you're friends with just because I'm more like a guy than a girl in my personality. I'm the girl you take to bars because I love to laugh and have fun, but not because I expect you to take me home. I'm also the girl who is always second - the one you consider dating after you've dated everyone else.
When I was younger, I found that all I really wanted was a boy around to tell me I was pretty, and that was all I cared about. I imagine a lot of females have that same issue. Don't get me wrong, girls love to be told they're beautiful. But females absolutely despise the constant sexual exploitation of you're sexy.
As I've grown up, I've found that I want a lot of different things in life. Sure, every now and then you can tell me I'm pretty, if that's what you think. But I no longer fine pick up lines and concepts of friends with benefits to be attractive or interesting. I want a man to share life with, one who wants to talk, someone who enjoys me for being intelligent and funny. I want someone to care for me for who I am, not because I have a gigantic butt, and apparently guys dig that.
Yet I, like many other girls, hear the same tired pick up lines over and over again about why looks are the final determination of a guy's involvement. I know there are good guys out there, and I know that there are also many emotions who have feelings far beyond what looks could ever give. So why do men resort to sex and ignore the rest?
Maybe I'm weird in what I want. Maybe I'm weird because I prefer to be admired for intelligence over beauty. But then again, I think everyone could learn a lesson - that we as women are meant to be admired for more than just what meets the eye. I think we, as women, owe it to ourselves to want more and to be appreciated.
But men, trust that we, as women, want to be admired for more than our beauty. Your tired lines of "I'm interested in you because you're attractive so let's have fun," no longer hold any weight past a drunk one night stand in a bar. Men, I'm not a girl who hates all men. Really, some of my best friends are guys, and I love them tons. But I promise, women are beautiful for more than what meets the eye, and as a man, you owe it to yourself to express that to a women, because it proves equally your character, and why you're worth our time. Because guys, you too are worth more than just your looks and just a one night stand, but a woman who will appreciate you for being intelligent and charismatic too.
