On apologies....

For those of you who know me, you know that I am one of those people who takes things personally. I don't handle insults well past a certain point and I always assume that everything is my fault, even when it is not. On the other hand, I'm stubborn and I don't like to outwardly admit defeat. Every now and then a situation hits me in just the right way that I am unable to let it go. It brings me to the point where I am able to admit defeat in my own special way.

When admitting defeat and apologizing, it says a lot about the person who is doing the apologizing but just as much as the person who will receive the apology. To the person who is doing the act of apologizing, it's a matter of letting go of your pride and admitting your relationship is worth more than your pride. By no means is this easy. I still struggle with this, and by describing the act of apologizing, I am in no way trying to imply I'm perfect and I do this every time. It's a difficult and selfless act that puts you in an uncomfortable and vulnerable spot. It really breaks down to it being the thought that counts.

As much as it says about the person doing the apologizing, it says an equal amount about the person receiving the apology. The receiver essentially has the power to accept or deny, and then potentially make other comments. The receiver has the power, and it takes a great amount of humility to simply accept the apology without using the power against the other person. Obviously if you are the person who has been wronged, there are a million and one negative comments you could say in return because you have been hurt. Sometimes it's necessary given the sincerity of the apology to clarify exactly how you feel in order for the situation to be fully resolved. But its important that those comments are done in a respectful manner to the person who apologized.

I'm sorry is just one simple phrase with three syllables and seven letters. It holds so much more power than that characters that compose it could ever suggest. You have the power in one phrase to take a situation and either resolve it or damage it even farther beyond repair. Apologies are just as messy as the situation that drove you to the point where an apology is necessary. Just remember the apologies are an act of humility. No one person is better whether they are doing the apology or accepting the act. Just remember your relationships are always more important than your pride.


“In this life, when you deny someone an apology,
you will remember it at time you beg forgiveness.”
― Toba Beta, My Ancestor Was an Ancient Astronaut