It's a cheesy girly title. I know. But I started to think about it, and I have a few thoughts.
There was an article not long ago about what happened to dating in college. And I believe it was dead on. I go to the number one party school and I do love my nights out. But my nights out consist of going with a good group of friends (guys or girls), and we have some fun and we go home. None of us go for finding a one night stand. None of us are the kind to make out with a random person in a bar.
Then you turn around and you see what college is dominated by. A series of one night stands and random make outs with people in bars. Using Tinder to find bliss and affirmation. A series of steps that make you depart from commitment and reality in an escapade that leaves you wanting more, because the thing that you think you want. You think momentary bliss from flitting experiences will leave you happy. Then when you crave more, you realize it's not the experience you want. It's the experience you're running away from that you want.
Welcome. You've met reality.
Meeting reality means building walls. You create a barrier so no one else understands your reality. You stay behind the facade with stories and maintaining the same frivolous experiences. You're happy because you think you're living the life that you want.
What happens when you meet your match? What happens when your boundaries no longer remain, and your walls are translucent? What happens when fairytales seem to be your present reality? What do you when cynicism dominates and tells you your happiness will be fleeting? What happens when you realize what you want to be as tangental as all the other times?
Unrequited love. The thing you're receiving after you meet reality. The moment when you sit there and hear all the thoughts you wonder if anyone will ever say to you again, yet leave you breathless as they hang in the dense air. Leave you staring into a blank abyss. Seeing stars and tunnel vision as the world comes to you.
So what now? It's the age old question. It's the question you've dreamed of since the first time your heart was shattered like a beer bottle on a wall after a party. The answer? Does anyone know?
Acceptance. That things change. That people are who they say they are. That happiness does exist. That you can trust someone. That there is a new life waiting if you simply walk away from the cliff you cling to as your salvation.
And that is the tale of unrequited love. That moment when you are pulled back from the cliff you hang off of with jagged edges as your salvation and safety net.
But then again, what more is unrequited love than a fictional tale?
http://www.upworthy.com/you-know-how-some-guys-will-do-anything-for-sex-just-wait-until-you-hear-this?c=utw1&utm_content=bufferf5ae4&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014
On Rejection
A couple of weeks ago, one of my best friends texted me asking me if I gave up on blogging. I responded and told her I've run out of time and inspiration. It appears I've now found both.
Today, I got some news that Plan A was no longer in the picture. I mean, it's college, so when does Plan A ever work?
Two things happened immediately:
1. I began to try and figure out what Plan B, C, D (E, F and G) were. And in that moment I felt that all plans were hopeless.
2. I melted to the floor and made it my best friend.
Upon reaching the floor, I did what any grown adult would do, and I called my mom. And my mom did what moms do - she told me to follow my dreams and to keep going, because I could. And me being me continued to be the fatalist that could only be comforted by brownies.
When the phone hit the floor, so did reality in my mind. I did nothing but replay the endless conversations in my head. The one where people I love told me I wasn't good enough, and that my dreams were stupid, that I would never achieve my dreams, and every other line in between.
Then I remembered that life is funny. That in ten years I will run into you on a street corner with your wife. You two will be working nine to five jobs and you'll be unhappy. Then you'll see me when we meet at the corner of Starbucks and you'll be obliged to ask about my life. And I want to be able to answer and tell you I succeeded and that I went above and beyond everything I told you I wold do. I want to tell you that at the end of the day, I'm still happy.
As I peeled myself from the floor, I promised myself a new plan. And I found a few. Well, and a few brownies too, but that is besides the point. But you move on. You dream new dreams, you find new plans, you prepare for more heartbreak, and at the end of the day, you learn to be happy for adventure.
Adventure is out there. Happiness comes from heartbreak.
And the fun is in knowing that one day, your conversation on the street corner will be everything you've ever dreamed of. If you pull yourself off the floor and go on an adventure.
Today, I got some news that Plan A was no longer in the picture. I mean, it's college, so when does Plan A ever work?
Two things happened immediately:
1. I began to try and figure out what Plan B, C, D (E, F and G) were. And in that moment I felt that all plans were hopeless.
2. I melted to the floor and made it my best friend.
Upon reaching the floor, I did what any grown adult would do, and I called my mom. And my mom did what moms do - she told me to follow my dreams and to keep going, because I could. And me being me continued to be the fatalist that could only be comforted by brownies.
When the phone hit the floor, so did reality in my mind. I did nothing but replay the endless conversations in my head. The one where people I love told me I wasn't good enough, and that my dreams were stupid, that I would never achieve my dreams, and every other line in between.
Then I remembered that life is funny. That in ten years I will run into you on a street corner with your wife. You two will be working nine to five jobs and you'll be unhappy. Then you'll see me when we meet at the corner of Starbucks and you'll be obliged to ask about my life. And I want to be able to answer and tell you I succeeded and that I went above and beyond everything I told you I wold do. I want to tell you that at the end of the day, I'm still happy.
As I peeled myself from the floor, I promised myself a new plan. And I found a few. Well, and a few brownies too, but that is besides the point. But you move on. You dream new dreams, you find new plans, you prepare for more heartbreak, and at the end of the day, you learn to be happy for adventure.
Adventure is out there. Happiness comes from heartbreak.
And the fun is in knowing that one day, your conversation on the street corner will be everything you've ever dreamed of. If you pull yourself off the floor and go on an adventure.
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