A couple of weeks ago, one of my best friends texted me asking me if I gave up on blogging. I responded and told her I've run out of time and inspiration. It appears I've now found both.
Today, I got some news that Plan A was no longer in the picture. I mean, it's college, so when does Plan A ever work?
Two things happened immediately:
1. I began to try and figure out what Plan B, C, D (E, F and G) were. And in that moment I felt that all plans were hopeless.
2. I melted to the floor and made it my best friend.
Upon reaching the floor, I did what any grown adult would do, and I called my mom. And my mom did what moms do - she told me to follow my dreams and to keep going, because I could. And me being me continued to be the fatalist that could only be comforted by brownies.
When the phone hit the floor, so did reality in my mind. I did nothing but replay the endless conversations in my head. The one where people I love told me I wasn't good enough, and that my dreams were stupid, that I would never achieve my dreams, and every other line in between.
Then I remembered that life is funny. That in ten years I will run into you on a street corner with your wife. You two will be working nine to five jobs and you'll be unhappy. Then you'll see me when we meet at the corner of Starbucks and you'll be obliged to ask about my life. And I want to be able to answer and tell you I succeeded and that I went above and beyond everything I told you I wold do. I want to tell you that at the end of the day, I'm still happy.
As I peeled myself from the floor, I promised myself a new plan. And I found a few. Well, and a few brownies too, but that is besides the point. But you move on. You dream new dreams, you find new plans, you prepare for more heartbreak, and at the end of the day, you learn to be happy for adventure.
Adventure is out there. Happiness comes from heartbreak.
And the fun is in knowing that one day, your conversation on the street corner will be everything you've ever dreamed of. If you pull yourself off the floor and go on an adventure.
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