Monday, June 9, 2014

On Breaking & Healing

Recently, I had a conversation with someone quite dear to me. As we talked, we began exchanging stories. We’re not talking fluffy bar stories. We’re talking deep, impactful, and truthful. I could listen to him talk and listen to his stories for days, but there was one thought that got me.

I wish I could write down the exact words, but it was to the effect of: In that moment, I suddenly understood how much power a human being could have to break another person, and in that moment, I saw her break.

And it made me stop and think.

Sometimes, you consider relationships and you realize people impact each other. You realize that you come to assimilate to each other. You learn to like the same music, movies, foods, develop the same habits and routines, and so on. Sometimes this can go to the not as healthy extent of things in which things are forced and compliance is required in hopes of staying. Falsely, compliance implies that change could occur and that things could get better.

But then there’s a new point. A point in which two people become one until they break. It’s that tragic point when one person walks away and says, “No, I don’t love you anymore.” And it is in that moment that one human can break another human.

It is in that moment that we understand the power that we have. It is in that moment that we begin hoping for something passionate and something unrequited to fix what has been shattered into a million pieces.

It is also in that moment that you realize that as much as you can break someone, you can also fix the broken in someone else.

From being broken, we change. We go from optimism to despair, romance to cynic, whole to a part, found to wandering, and everything in between. From being broken, we find a new way to become whole.

It’s a beautiful concept, knowing that something once so broken can become new again. It’s an equally powerful and trusting concept as well.

It is from sharing how we are all broken that we heal. It is from being open and vulnerable that we come back together. It is from letting down the guards and walls and boundaries that we cling to that we heal. It is from trust and chance that we heal. It is from believing in something greater that we heal.

It is from believing that you are not doomed to your life of brokenness and despair and trusting yourself to someone dear to you that you heal, and you find that you are not as  broken as you may believe.

Brokenness is a brief moment on a path of change, and on a journey toward happiness, not a characteristic that defines you and commands you.

“Aren’t we all unfinished? Don’t we all need editing? Aren’t we al praying for someone to read us and say we make sense?” – Rudy Francisco


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